The musician, 55, tells PEOPLE in this week’s issue, on newsstands Friday, that he came to this conclusion after his last relationship ended five years ago.
“I have wonderful friends. I have this really fulfilling creative work life, spiritual life, hiking life,” he says. “So I don’t know what’ll happen in the future, but these last five years of monastic living have been surprisingly nice.”
“I was that old country Western cliché, just looking for love in all the wrong places,” he says. “Then when you take fame, alcoholism, addiction and a compulsive need to seek validation, it led to a lot of — to be diplomatic — less than ideal dating on my end.”
“It’s paradoxical, in a way, to be who I am right now, which is kind of boring, happy and middle-aged, and look back 20 years ago to when I was selfish, narcissistic and addicted to alcohol and drugs,” he says. “I look at that person, and I don’t recognize him.”
“It’s a hard place because no one wants to listen to an affluent public figure complaining. But when you can’t figure out how to make yourself happy and you rely on alcohol and drugs, for a lot of people the only answer is [suicide],” he says. “I’m glad I didn’t figure out how to end my life.”
“I played a fundraiser and then got very drunk after and did a ton of drugs,” he says. “As I was taking Amtrak back into the city, this voice in my head said, ‘You’re done.'”
He began attending 12-step meetings and entered therapy for the first time — things he’s remained committed to for the last 13 years.
“I started recognizing that fame and material success weren’t going to fix my psychological and emotional issues,” he says. “I’m actually quite happy with the simple things: hiking, sitting outside and looking at the trees I’ve planted. When you’ve spent your whole life struggling and pursuing grander things, it’s hard to realize these things have the ability to deliver that much happiness.”
He also decided to make the move from New York City to Los Angeles.
“I realized very quickly that N.Y.C., where I’d lived almost my entire life, is a wonderful place to be a drunk and an incredibly challenging place to be sober,” he says. “So I moved to L.A., and I’ve been here ever since.”
“I remember reading this interview with the Dalai Lama, and he was talking about how happiness comes from service,” he says. “I’ve realized he’s absolutely right.”
Now he’s sharing his struggles to help others.
“I’ve really appreciated other people telling their honest stories,” he says. “I’m telling mine in the hope that people will feel less alone. I’m so grateful to have a purpose that’s higher than myself.”
source: people.com
